I knew that I would never regret seeing my grandpa before he passed but I also was very confident that if I didn't make it, he knew I loved him and I knew he loved me :) I was so thankful that just a week earlier we had talked on the phone twice! One was a "just because" call and the other was to thank him for my birthday card. That last phone call I could tell he was having trouble keeping his short term memory straight but he was still sharp and we laughed the majority of the conversation. We didn't really have a clear idea of how long he had and whether he would even know me if I was there. I had pretty much decided by the end of the week that I was going to wait so that when the time came to go to PHX I would feel at liberty to take off as much time from work as I needed. After skyping with my family and seeing grandpa react to my name and my voice and believing that he was very close to the end, we decided that I was going to fly out in the morning (Saturday) and Zach would come when he passed. Unfortunately, I didn't make it in time and grandpa took his last breath around midnight on Saturday. I did feel sad that I wasn't able to be at his side with my parents and sisters but mostly I just wished that I could have squeezed his hand and felt him hold mine tight like he always did.
Our week in Phoenix was so blessed and we felt so much love and support from friends and family at the services. The night of his visitation was actually Zach's and my 1 year anniversary and we thought it was pretty ironic that exactly a year later we were again in Phoenix, shaking hands in a receiving line:) It didn't bother us at all that that was how we spent our 1 year. As I looked through all of these pictures of my grandpa's life and hearing everyone say such wonderful things about him I realized just how much life he really lived and how many people truly loved him. I don't know if he always believed people did but it was so obvious that he played a special role in more lives than just our immediate family's.
April 2013
Grandpa,I miss you so much. I'm so sorry that I couldn't be there to tell you goodbye or how much I love you or how lucky I was to be your granddaughter but I know that this is good, that you're where you have wanted to be for a long time. That you're finally with grandma and Karen and you're free from the annoyances of getting older (I know you really hated that) ;) While I'm terribly sad that you won't be there the next time I come home and that Zach will never really know you like I wish he could have or that he'll never get to take you out on the golf course, I'm also incredibly happy for you. I'm happy that after so many years you gave your life to Christ and chose to serve him. I was nervous for awhile as a kid that you never would. It was pretty terrible for a 10 year old to realize that her grandpa was not going to heaven but you made me so thankful and so RELIEVED when you surrendered your life and made that public testimony of your faith.
Thank you for loving me! I had a thought the other day that I'm not sure anyone has loved me more (or at least consistently communicated love to me more) than you. You always made me feel like the prettiest and funniest girl you knew and you just seemed so joyful when your granddaughters were around. Thank you for all that you gave us girls. You were incredibly generous and spoiled us girls rotten on holidays and birthdays and for no special occasion. You even built us all these crazy things to play with like the play house, a tent, wooden "walking sticks" or canes, guns (mostly for Emily), rocking chairs and so many others. You let us use all of those decorative figurines like the lawn deer as toys when I'm sure that was not what their intended purposes were :/
I'll always be grateful for all of the videos you took of us kids growing up because now we have so many memories with you that we can revisit. My favorite thing to do when at your house was watch the old home videos :) I never want to forget your almost constant laughter, your off key singing of "Happy Birthday", your red sweatsuit at Christmas that made you look like Santa, your confusion over all the new tech gadgets we had and your insistence on getting the latest and the best, your loud kisses and your tight hugs. So many memories :) All those times in Pinetop, looking for elk, going horseback riding, taking walks around the circle street around your cabin, eating at El Rancho or Country Kitchen where I always got my eggs over easy with white toast and jelly. Playing in your grapefruit tree in your backyard in Tempe, playing with your trains, writing letters to you and dropping them through the slot in your roll top desk.
As we all got older the times of playing were over and were instead replaced with going out to eat and enjoying conversation and each other's company. I'm sorry when I mumbled and you couldn't understand what I was saying to you and if I seemed too distracted to answer all of your questions about who was who and whether I was wearing a new outfit :). How I wish we could all just go out to eat again and laugh and chat. It would of course be your treat because you wouldn't allow it any other way;)
I love you grandpa! Heaven got a whole lot sweeter and I became more anxious to get there on August 24th :) I hope you are happy and know the extent of our love for you and gratitude for all that you did for each of us. I truly cannot wait to see you again and hope it doesn't feel so long in between now and our joyful reunion.
One of your favorite granddaughters ;)
Abby
Christmas 2012
August 26, 2012
Such a sweet tribute!
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